On Power Read online

  As I’ve said, the world is not fair, nor should it be. Some of us are just born smarter, but most of us are not Stephen Hawking, Michio Kaku, or Isaac Newton. I know that I’m not, nor will I ever be, though I may raise my station by careful study and hard work. On the flip side, some of us may not have book smarts, but are street smart. Put someone with street smarts in the middle of an unfamiliar city without a dollar in their pocket, and they will be able to clamber out of obscurity with just their wits and will. Others would be hopeless in this situation. That’s just the way it is.

  Some of us have neither book smarts nor street smarts and are simply not very bright. Period. It’s harsh, but it’s true. Some people out there are stupid—accept it. But regardless of where you are on Mother Nature’s intelligence scale, you need to do what all animals in the wild do: adapt. Take your weaknesses as realities and acknowledge them, find your strengths, and find a way. Recognize that your situation is unfair and then get over it. Succeed anyway.

  How, you ask? By being a chameleon. Pretend you’re smarter, stronger, etc., by simply hanging out with the right crowd, changing your colors, faking it if you must, and reading and practicing as much as you can, as we’ve covered above. Unless you are watching the news, turn the TV off and pick up a book. Find out what smart people you admire are reading and read those books. Your brain is like a muscle that must be used in order to grow. Incidentally, the fool who takes it upon himself to read relentlessly, to educate himself, and to work hard is much more valuable to the job market than the genius who lies around all day, navel-gazing and exerting minimal effort.

  Hard work is more important than talent or intelligence. Hard work is your trump card. However, you will not accomplish anything until you have first come to terms with the reality of your shortcomings—intellectual, physical, or whatever they may be. If you know you’re bad at something, if you know where your brain falls short, you are ahead of the game and that much closer to fixing and/or getting around your flaw. The self-esteem movement, participation trophy culture, and political correctness all get in the way of honest self-criticism and true self-improvement.

  FEMALE SEXUALITY IS POWER

  Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.

  —Oscar Wilde

  Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

  —Margaret Thatcher

  As long as we are being politically incorrect, there is another elephant in the room that must be addressed. There is an intangible kind of power that we haven’t discussed yet and that can translate into success, into dollar signs, and into the ability to get things done. This kind of power has nothing to do with your title or your career, nor does it have anything to do with honest hard work. It is another way in which the world as it exists is not fair. Across cultures, across time, across civilizations and continents and oceans:

  Power resides wherever there are beautiful women.

  Women specifically.

  The sexuality of beautiful women has long been coveted in a way that men’s sexuality simply is not. This is an obsession that transcends nationality and culture, and manifests itself throughout every corridor of power, in healthy and unhealthy ways. Now, in our politically correct culture, it is generally taboo for me, an older male, to even broach this topic. But anyone who knows me knows I don’t care about taboos. If this discussion offends you, it stands to reason that you do not have what it takes to interact with the real world outside of a very narrow, liberal bubble. And that’s okay, as long as you live in an area that supports that bubble (which, incidentally, requires people in power to maintain it—funny how that works). However, the real world tends to intrude, whether we want them to or not, and we need to face some very real facts about the differences between men and women, whether we like them or agree with them. So let’s continue, and I beg of you, keep an open mind. Not everything that smacks of conservative traditionalism is simply wrong. Many of our violations of political correctness actually contain a grain of truth.

  Generally speaking, men pursue women. The more a man succeeds in his (consensual) pursuit of women, the more social power he gains. A man’s ability to grab the attention of beautiful women can be used to gain more power. In addition, if you are considered a beautiful woman, that is a source of power, because you are in demand, like it or not. A beautiful woman can walk through the doors of the most exclusive club, while her male counterpart will be stopped at the velvet rope. There are lots of things we are tempted to say when confronted with this inconvenient truth, such as “Everyone is beautiful” or “Beauty is subjective.” This is a way of being compassionate to everyone’s feelings, but it’s a sentiment that is ultimately useless to you. Because it doesn’t reflect reality, and in reality, not everyone is beautiful to everyone. Whether it’s the result of biology, genetics, or cultural conditioning, there is a certain look, particularly in women, that commands attention on a massive scale. It sells cars, movies, clothing, magazines, and food. It works.

  You can try to make yourself feel better, try to improve your self-esteem, by telling yourself that it’s all bullshit and that everyone is beautiful and that it’s what’s inside that counts. That’s fine to do. It might be the mentally healthier option. Or you can acknowledge the unfair reality that female beauty is a form of power, and then do your best to use it to your advantage. If you are a woman, you can choose to make yourself as beautiful as you can. If you are a man, you can surround yourself with beautiful women, if you can. If you do this successfully (and not everyone is able to), it can benefit you enormously.

  Hugh Hefner built an entire empire on this concept. Throughout his entire life, he has remained on brand: he surrounds himself with beautiful women, which has a twofold effect. Many straight men, of course, want to be him, and have wanted to be him for generations. Women, in some cases, disapprove. But in other cases, women see a man in very high demand with women who are even better looking than they are, and in this demand there is a form of power. Women over the years have wanted him because he was wanted by other women. This effect can be seen in Hollywood heartthrobs, rock stars, and the like. Many of us rock stars, in particular, aren’t actually very good-looking in the traditional sense. I’m a prime example of how this kind of power works. I was some people’s cup of tea when I was young, but I was always a strange-looking guy, even out of costume. Some of us rock musicians are downright goofy looking. However, we find a way to be in demand with women. We get onstage, we strap a guitar to our chests, and we embrace our individuality and own it, with confidence. We say, “Yeah, that’s right, I’m weird looking, and I’m hot, and women love me.” This really does work, if you can be convincing in the way you put this out there. Once you have established yourself as someone who is “good with women,” there is a kind of domino effect: other women begin to want you, despite your physical shortcomings. This is why the cliché of the rich, powerful old man with an Anna Nicole on his arm exists. Some call it charisma, some credit money. Whatever it is, it is powerful.

  I made a living spitting blood, sticking my tongue out, and being as grotesque and horrifying as possible as part of my onstage persona. It appealed to men, sure, as a sort of horror-movie spectacle, as a pagan deity of sorts. But it also appealed to women. KISS was famous, in our single days, for our dalliances with groupies, and I rarely attempted to pretty myself up in the traditional sense, because I did not need to. I was in demand with women, because I was onstage and because I commanded power. The dominos fell—women wanted me because other women wanted me. Because I owned the room. If you can create this perception, of being wanted by women, then other women will begin to want you, whether the initial impression is true or not. If women want you or if women want what you have, people will pay attention to what you have to say. Yes, offensive, but also, inconveniently, true.

  If you are a woman, I must say something even harsher that will make me sound like a misogynistic blowhard. But pl
ease get past that knee-jerk reaction, because it is not your friend in the real world. The world does not care how you think it should be. If you want to affect social change and destroy the power dynamics that exist, more power to you—I’ll support you. But I am not writing this book for a hypothetical utopia, where women are never judged by their appearance. I am writing this book in the real world, where women are objectified and seen as sexual objects—and this is a horrible thing when it is unwanted. But I’m trying to help you cope with a world that is not entirely fair, or just, or correct. I am trying to help you be an opportunist, to manipulate an unfair, unjust, incorrect world more effectively, more ruthlessly. So let me say this clearly: Ladies, if you are interested in harnessing this type of power, first be honest with yourself about how you look. That is to say, be honest with yourself about how you are perceived. And if you find that you have this power that is unique to your sex, you should not feel ashamed to use it.

  People may look down on you or try to shame you for it. Do not listen to them. Your goal is power, and using all of your resources, including manipulating society’s expectations of your sexuality and your gender, is part of gaining power. I am not making a value judgment on whether society or men or people in general are morally correct in the way they view you or limit you based on these preconceived notions of who you are. I am merely pointing out the reality and reminding you that this reality, fair or unfair, can be used to your advantage if you so choose.

  The more socially enlightened among us will take great offense at my pointing out these traditional power dynamics. They will say, “Surely we are all equal. Surely this male-female, hunter-hunted thing is a remnant of the past.” Absolutely not. It exists in the here and now, when the cameras are off and our self-censorship is at rest, because that is the space in which life happens, for better or for worse.

  If you are a woman reading this, you may have a dilemma about your integrity. You want to be taken seriously for the gifts of your mind, and you want to achieve things and seize power without reference to your sexuality. There is a sense of disgust inherent in the idea of exploiting your sexuality for power, and there is a lot of pressure on women (often from other women) to reserve your sexuality, to hide it, to snuff it out, lest it give you an unfair advantage. How many times have you heard someone say something like, “She only got that job because she’s well endowed,” or “She’s only successful because they want to sleep with her.” Well, guess what? Whatever the reason, she’s making it work for her.

  On both ends, for the critic and for the woman being criticized, I know this must be frustrating. This is a situation with which I sympathize, but of course, I cannot truly empathize, because I’m not in your shoes. This is the cross you may have to bear in the world as it currently exists. There are people making strides in these areas, but change is always slow, and in the meantime, we still have to go to work and live our lives.

  As the world currently stands, you must choose. Is it worth it to you to use your sexuality to your advantage? Or will you choose to purposefully stifle your sexuality and its inherent power, and try to make sure that your success is entirely dependent on your work ethic, your mind, and your talents? If you are traditionally beautiful, there will likely come a time when you will need to choose between one of these two roads. It is your prerogative to decide whether using us men and our beastly ways to achieve power is worth it to you. You’d be surprised what just a suggestion from your lips can make us do. And you can choose to ignore the puritanical voices in your head that say that it is “evil” and “immoral” to embrace your sexuality and use it where it most benefits you.

  I happen to think these taboos are nonsense. If you have the ability to marshal an aspect of yourself to get what you want, I say you should go for it, and this includes sexuality and being sexually desired. Modesty be damned. I believe that our distaste for this sort of thing stems from jealousy. Men are jealous if they can’t have you. Other women are jealous because they can’t do what you can do or are too ashamed. When I encourage you to ignore all of this societal pressure, I am not making a moral argument. Consensual sex, in any context, is okay. People worry about it too much. Worrying about whether someone is going to call you a “slut” is a waste of time. Because guess what? I’ve gotten high-fives for the very same behavior that gets you called a slut. The people calling you names just don’t want you to have the same amount of fun that I had. I say go for it. Join me. And ignore the critics. Do whatever it takes to win.

  MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT

  This section is for the ladies. It covers how I believe power dynamics differ for men and women. If you are a woman, you may not be interested in my thoughts on the matter. And that’s fine, skip this part. But do so at your own risk. I may not know the first thing about what it’s like to be a woman, but I do know a thing or two about seizing power. So it might be to your benefit to lend an ear, even if you get offended in the process.

  In addition to the sexual power that women possess, there is another source of pressure on women today. As a woman, society tells you that you are supposed to have a boyfriend and get married by a certain age, or else you are simply not valuable. And it is still seen as perfectly socially acceptable to lean on your spouse if you are a woman. Men, on the other hand, are under a lot more social pressure to be independently successful. And that pressure is a good thing. It’s what drives us toward power. Women, you are not going to attain the power you want out of life by relying on your boyfriend or your husband. So I say this social pressure should be expanded to include both sexes. It makes us stronger, as individuals and as a society.

  Ladies out there who are reading this book, you deserve to be powerful. Make that part of your mind-set. Shifting your mind-set is the first step toward actually acquiring power. When you kick that sorry-ass boyfriend or husband to the curb for breaking your heart, I don’t want you to be left heartbroken, scared, or unprepared to take life by the scruff of the neck and make it bend to your will. You will need the tools and strategies in this book to become the rich and powerful woman you deserve to be. The fact remains that in our society, at the moment, men are viewed as more aggressive and competitive. Whether you attribute this to cultural brainwashing, systemized misogyny, testosterone, or DNA, I don’t care. I’m only concerned that you acknowledge the reality of the situation. Do you wish that things were different? I’m sure that you do. But pretending that they are is not going to do anyone any good.

  If you want to change things, I am not suggesting that you inject yourself with testosterone, especially now that we understand that you will probably start growing hair in places you may not want. But be aware that your natural inclination to be a nurturer and to avoid conflict may not be what you need to compete and succeed in the “World of Man.” And I capitalized that phrase, because I don’t want you to kid yourself. Civilization in the world we live in, so far, has always been and continues to be built by the hand of man, by a pretty huge majority. And yes, I know people like to argue that without women, mankind would not exist. Technically, they are right. But what good is winning an argument if you are not going to walk away with power? There’s still a big bad world of traditional ideas out there. That’s a fact. Complaining about how unfair and awful it is will not make you powerful.

  So, ladies, enough with the “I gotta get married or I’ll become an old maid” nonsense. You are going to have to decide early in your twenties whether you want a family or a career. Because pragmatically speaking, being pregnant will take you out of the workforce, it will take a toll on you, and it will therefore make you less competitive. You are, most likely, not going to be able to have your cake and eat it too. While you are pregnant with your beloved child, your male peers will be racing ahead of you, because it’s simply easier with their circumstances. And after you give birth to your child, that child will take up a lot of your time and energy, but will not make you one ounce more powerful. My apologies for being so blunt. So, ladies, if
you want to be powerful, I say this:

  Career first. Family second.

  Go and get your power. Go and get your money. Stop depending on men. They will invariably let you down. And when they leave you, because statistics tell us that most of them do, you will likely be unprepared to become the rich and powerful woman you always wanted to be, and should be. Quite frankly, the world would be a better place if the leaders of the countries of the world were women. Currently, that does not seem to be the case. Let’s fix it. Regardless, if you are a woman, I want you to be powerful and rich.

  Not with your man’s money.

  With your money.

  Your power.

  Wake up in the morning, make your own decisions, don’t ask anyone if they would like coffee in bed. Have somebody bring you coffee in bed.

  Step one is acknowledging the way the world is, even if it hurts your feelings. Step two is kicking the world in the ass and making it change.

  6

  THE CLASSICAL POWER PANTHEON

  A wise man ought always to follow the paths beaten by great men, and to imitate those who have been supreme, so that if his ability does not equal theirs, at least it will savour of it.

  —Niccolò Machiavelli

  Power is everything. Everyone wants it, whether they admit it or not, and people respond strongly to those who have it, while they have it. This may sound villainous or immoral to you. But if you’ve decided to read this book, I ask that you open your mind to what you perceive to be the dark side for a moment. I promise, there will be something to learn there. Though I consider myself an authority on power, there have been many more powerful figures than myself throughout history who have expressed these principles far better than I ever could. In this section, we will explore a few classic, historic examples of power.