Me, Inc. Read online

  20

  Speak English

  “I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can’t help it. It’s the truth.”

  CHARLIE CHAPLIN

  actor, film director, author, songwriter, and studio founder

  Another important point: learn to speak English.

  There’s nothing wrong with being proud to be Spanish or African-American or Albanian, but that in itself won’t help you amass a fortune in America. And bluntly speaking, English language skills can. Anywhere in the world. Speak English in Zimbabwe, and you can get a job. Speak one of the hundreds of Zimbabwe dialects in America, and it won’t help you in the least.

  And try to speak English without an accent. Please! Again, this book isn’t about being politically correct, it’s about showing you how to make money. Let’s be real. If I can’t understand what you’re saying to me, or if your accent is too strong, the impression I’ll get won’t be about the content of the conversation. It will be about your accent.

  I’m here to tell you that politically correct notions hardly ever tell the real truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Political correctness is probably well intentioned. And things like “slander” often result in lawsuits.

  Whether or not a lawsuit has merit, it still costs a lot of money to defend. So most of our institutions—the media, the education system, politicians, employers, and corporations—are very careful about what they say, how they say it, and who they say it to.

  So let me spell it out plainly for you, from one immigrant to all the rest of you immigrants out there: LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH. And learn to do it well. And learn to speak it without an accent. Really.

  I know you’re proud of where you come from. And you’re proud of your heritage, your religion, and your customs.

  Terrific. You’re proud of yours. And I’m proud of mine.

  So what?

  Unless and until all the different cultures and languages and religions who immigrate to America figure out how to get along with each other in the same country, there will be chaos. The Tower of Babel.

  And that means we all have to give in a little, and get off our high horse regarding our languages and our cultures and even our religious beliefs.

  Get over yourself.

  I do want to put forward this caveat: There are no absolutes. There are and always will be exceptions. You might have a wonderfully thick Indian accent, be a mathematics wiz, and be gloriously successful on Wall Street.

  In public schools, your teacher will never tell you that your thick accent or lack of English speaking skills may hinder you on your climb up the ladder of success. If she did, she’d be fired. Even though it’s the truth.

  Your teacher will never tell you (God forbid) that people in America, right or wrong, simply don’t react well to thick accents or lack of English speaking skills.

  But it’s true. And this may be an unfair reality that you will have to contend with.

  And your boss at your job, if you have one, will never tell you to your face that your thick accent may tinge or somehow affect his perception of you. That would not just be politically incorrect, but illegal, as well.

  Yet, sometimes, it’s the truth.

  I don’t play by those rules. You don’t work for me, and I can state my opinion as I please.

  Especially, since I was one of you.

  In 1958, when my mother and I legally immigrated to America, I couldn’t speak a word of English. Neither could my mother. We spoke Hungarian and Hebrew, and my mother knew halting German. I also picked up (and have since forgotten) some Spanish and some Turkish.

  My mother couldn’t speak English and didn’t have an education, so she wound up working in a sweat shop. Six days a week. No holidays. No minimum wage. It was the only job available to her in New York with her skill level.

  I wasn’t born in America, but as a young boy, I quickly learned that the more foreign I sounded, the less I was accepted into the mainstream.

  One of the first things I remember hearing when I was eight and a half years old was “What’re you, stupid? Can’t you even speak English?” I would never forget that. It was unkind and harsh, yes. But it was an uncensored reflection of how native-born Americans might consider you if you aren’t able to communicate in English. The less ability you had to speak English, the more stupid most people thought you sounded.

  It was true then, and it’s true now. And it will be true tomorrow, as well, to varying degrees. We can strive to change it—to make positive social change is a worthy endeavor. But if you want to be a businessman, you have to contend with the way the world is right now, not the way you would like it to be.

  Sorry. That’s life. You can’t force everybody to think the way you do.

  Encouraged by the predominant American culture, I forced myself to learn to speak American English. Either I did that, or I would continue to be made fun of, have fewer friends, play on fewer baseball teams, and be invited to fewer parties. And at that age, those things were important to me.

  I learned to speak English without an accent and graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in education. I was immediately able to start teaching sixth grade to native-born Americans. I spoke better English than they did. Then, at age twenty-two, I became the assistant to the director of the Puerto Rican Interagency Council. Those were some of the jobs available to me with my skill level, once I learned to speak well.

  Put in the work.

  Get the results.

  I’m here to increase your chances of success, so I’m not going to sugarcoat any of the obstacles that might hold you back. And your thick accent and/or lack of English speaking skills are not your friends. Try to get rid of them. Now.

  “He’s well-spoken,” they’ll privately say to each other.

  And lest you think they’re picking on you just because you come from someplace else, consider this: that same sentiment is held by Americans about each other. For instance, if your accent is too “southern”-sounding, many Americans might assume you to be, uh, less than sophisticated.

  It would be difficult for most Americans to take Professor Billy Bob Fitz seriously, if his first direction in Shakespearian studies at the university was “For tonight’s assignment, y’all consider the dilemma Othello had to live with, mmkay?”

  I won’t apologize for the parody, or my crudeness—this is a crude, unaccommodating world you are going to step into. Grow a thick skin and adapt. Be a Darwinian apex predator—whatever your environment, adapt to it, and conquer it. It just so happens that the business world in the United States is an English speaking environment.

  It also bears noting that, in the southern United States, TV broadcasters rarely sound southern. They all speak in perfect “mid-Atlantic” American English, even if they were born in the South, love the South, and eat grits. They realize that the sound of their accent does not connect to the rest of the country.

  Lest you southerners think I’m singling you out, you’re not the only ones.

  A heavy New York accent, with its “deze” (these) and “doze” (those), is considered by many to be less than sophisticated. To be blunt—it makes you sound stupid.

  I didn’t invent the rules.

  Unless you’re sitting on a large oil deposit in your backyard in Texas, you will note that the large corporate giants and captains of industry, who are worth billions, like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett and Mark Zuckerberg, all speak mid-Atlantic American English.

  That’s no coincidence.

  And lest you think I’m only talking about white people.

  President Obama speaks mid-Atlantic.

  Oprah Winfrey speaks mid-Atlantic.

  Wendy Williams speaks mid-Atlantic.

  YOU can learn to speak mid-Atlantic well.

  I do.

  When in Rome, do as Romans do.

  You’re in America, and while we may not, on paper, have a national language,
it’s simply counterproductive not to do what will make you the most money—what will help you thrive. And right now that means learning to speak English.

  The better you can communicate in English, the more money you stand to make.

  Let’s not stop there. Let’s go all the way. Buckle up. It’s gonna get bumpy.

  Speaking with a heavy Yiddish accent that isn’t easily understood by the masses will not help you advance. It doesn’t matter that you’re proud and it’s your heritage. No one else cares. Really.

  Speaking with a very heavy accent will usually not help you make more money. There are always exceptions, of course, but why take the chance?

  A heavy French accent for a maître d’ in a French restaurant? Sure. Fine.

  A heavy French accent for an American TV newscaster? Not so fine.

  And not speaking English at all will buy you an express ticket to the bottom of the barrel.

  It’s YOUR responsibility to learn to speak English properly.

  Nobody will tell you this, because it’s supposed to be unkind. It’s politically incorrect. It will hurt the feelings of immigrants.

  So, I will.

  SPEAK ENGLISH!!!

  I had to do it.

  You can, too.

  I wrote some of this book dictating into my iPhone. Siri takes pretty good dictation. Siri and I get along great. She understands every word I say. That’s because I speak very good mid-Atlantic American English.

  Siri becomes less and less reliable the heavier your accent is. She may have other language settings—but people don’t.

  Take a hint from Siri.

  She knows.

  She doesn’t care if you’re a nice person.

  She only cares if she can understand you.

  If Siri doesn’t understand you, then you’re in trouble.

  As I’ve said elsewhere in this book—there are, and will always be, exceptions to every rule. We were at a basketball game at Staples Center in Los Angeles. And on the way out, someone introduced me to former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. The first words I spoke to him were in German. I’m fairly fluent in the language and we exchanged banter. He was born in Austria and went into bodybuilding seriously. He soon rose through the ranks. When he arrived in America, with few English language skills, he soon won Mr. Olympia and other bodybuilding titles. Note that he chose a first career that had little to nothing to do with language skills. A smart move. Then he segued into movies, playing the kinds of roles where his physique was the draw. Before too long, he became the world’s top box-office draw. He then turned his attention to politics and easily won the election to become the governor of what was then the sixth-largest economy on earth: California.

  Whatever hurdles you may think are in front of you as a native-born American, imagine coming from another country and culture, with no English speaking skills. And with an unwieldy name that’s difficult to spell and pronounce.

  Still, the same strong backbone that enabled him to come to America and rise to the top of the bodybuilding world, and then the film world and finally in politics, says something about who the person is.

  Remember, every step of the way, people made fun of how he pronounced English words, and how he spelled his name. None of it mattered to him. Nothing would keep him from succeeding.

  Take note—his accent was something he had to overcome. It isn’t impossible. But you will have to work for it.

  Champions are not born. They work for it.

  THE ART OF MORE: PRINCIPLE #9

  SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF MONEY

  You don’t need an MBA to make it in business—but there are some basic facts about money everyone should know. The entire economy is based upon the notion that money must exchange hands for it to continue to live. The more you understand that, the more you will find access to others people’s money in pursuing your endeavors.

  21

  Women Entrepreneurs

  “The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try.”

  DEBBI FIELDS

  founder and spokesperson for Mrs. Fields bakeries

  This chapter is specifically designed for you, women entrepreneurs.

  I won’t get into how humiliating and arduous a climb you’ve had to make in order to gain respect and win control of your own lives in this country, and others. I also understand that your struggle is not over yet. In many African, Asian, and Middle Eastern countries, women are still being treated like property or worse. And we’ve still got a ways to go in the United States, though the misogyny we experience here is slightly less obvious, and slightly more insidious.

  But here in Western society, and particularly in America, women have the opportunity, perhaps more than at any time in history and perhaps more than anywhere else on earth. So there’s really no excuse for not becoming an entrepreneur.

  If you’ve got the guts.

  For role models, men can look up to many successful male entrepreneurs who started with nothing and created business empires for themselves. The list is long. Bill Gates/Microsoft. Mark Zuckerberg/Facebook. Steve Jobs/Apple. Sir Richard Branson/Virgin. All of these men started with no funds, had no prior experience, and forged ahead nonetheless.

  Women should take note that there are role models for them to look up to as well.

  The following women play to win in a man’s world. Because it is a man’s world, unfortunately. And men will not soften the rules to suit you, just as they won’t soften the rules to suit other men who don’t make the grade.

  Please note, as well, that none of these women I’m about to name married into their position, or were born with a crown on their heads. They had to fight hard to get where they are. Perhaps harder than their male counterparts. And they deserve the respect and admiration of all of us for being able to overcome any obstacles that society and culture put in front of them.

  They won, regardless.

  And, you can, too.

  German chancellor Angela Merkel oversees Europe’s most thriving economy. The German gross domestic product (GDP) is almost $12 trillion. Merkel became chancellor the old-fashioned way. She worked for it. She didn’t marry into it. She didn’t inherit it. She clawed her way to the top, went toe to toe with men, and won.

  Marillyn Hewson is the CEO of Lockheed Martin, the global aerospace, defense, security, and tech company. Hardly a position one would associate with a woman. But there she is atop an entity populated with mostly men.

  Ellen Sirleaf Johnson is the head of state of Liberia. She is one of two recent female heads of state in all of Africa. The other was Joyce Banda of Malawi. Both ladies routinely met to improve the lives of women living in Africa.

  Ginni Rometty is the CEO of IBM. Computers. IBM is led by a woman—the old stereotype of technology not being “feminine” is crumbling.

  Meg Whitman is CEO of Hewlett-Packard. Before that, she ran for governor of California and lost by a small margin. She was also president and CEO of eBay.

  Marissa Mayer heads Yahoo. When she came on as CEO, the company was in tatters. Under her leadership, Yahoo has made a complete turnaround.

  It bears noting that during the five years that Mayer worked at Google, she did 250 all-nighters. Think about that: 250 nights with no sleep to get the job done.

  So why not you? Do you have that kind of dedication to succeeding? Can you do it?

  It was clear, even in the beginning, that Marissa Mayer was willing to outwork her coworkers.

  Although Mayer is married, when she comes home from work, she doesn’t stop working. She will work late into the evening, even though she is with her husband. She doesn’t stop working just because she’s at home.

  And that’s the sign of a champion.

  Breathe it. Feel it. Dream it. Be it. All the time.

  YOU are the engine that makes it all happen.

  You are a car battery: you must recharge by turning on and running, every day.

  Ladies,
first and foremost: you’re on your own. No more rules neatly laid out for you to follow. You have to make up YOUR OWN rules.

  And quite honestly, that’s tougher for women, because you don’t have to do this for yourself. As a woman, there is a social contract, and a social stereotype, that teaches you from an early age that you always have a security blanket, called a man. You have the option of getting married, having children, and spending all your time caring for the home, while he is working and trying to pay for it all. This persistent stereotype is still here, and though it’s not enforced as rigorously as it was in the fifties, it is still prevalent. Some people, sometimes, will wonder why you’re “bothering” to work so hard, instead of just settling down.

  And you can certainly do that. It’s your life.

  But if you decide to be a homemaker or a stay-at-home mom, you may as well leave your entrepreneurial aspirations at the door of the home that you didn’t get to buy.

  The biological clock that keeps tugging at women to have children before their middle years, and the male culture that keeps shoving this message down their throats, is probably the biggest obstacle to them devoting all of their waking moments to their careers. If you’re a woman, your early twenties to your forties is the most important time to work at your aspirations. Without any diversions.

  So your biggest decision to make is this: do you want to devote all of your energies in your twenties, thirties, and forties to your career goals, or do you want to conform to a biological imperative, a traditional social stereotype, and be a stay-at-home wife and mother? Again—there’s nothing wrong with this. At all. But at this point in history, perhaps for the first time, you truly don’t have to. The vistas of possibility are becoming wider, and grander, all the time, because of trailblazing women like the ones mentioned above.